In a scale of crawl (1) to sprint (5), my comprehension of most holidays listed in my diary is a drag. A mere two. There are two plausible holidays in the calendar; New Year and Independence day. The rest are pretty much stringed up to some religious or political conundrum that require years of ‘GH-CRE’.

But the world revolves on an even keel. Thus, for the fucker (sue me) that came up with 5 weekdays and 2 days for the weekend, Kenyans, welcome St Patrick’s Day. The unleaded pencil I call imagination tells me it stems from a ‘Kasalany area guy’ of the pre-medieval times that witnessed Jesus turning water to wine. Going by the name Patrick, he recounted the events of the Galilean festival with consummate euphoria. I witnessed, ni kama ndrama..

Ireland is a small Island north west to Europe. You would need to move past Turkana, cross our Kenyan border at Lokitipi plains and keep walking straight North west. You’d reach there. Eventually. These Odieros coined up Saint Patrick’s Day in the early 17th century. It’s observed by the Catholic Church and most Protestant churches to commemorate Saint Patrick and the arrival of Christianity in Ireland. Recently, it has also become a celebration of Irishness. By celebrating Irishness, they dress up in green, an influence of their country symbol the irish clover and drink!

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March 17th people, is that day. They open up their distilleries fill their cups with whiskey and invite the world to partake. Even for guys observing lent, restrictions on eating and drinking alcohol are lifted for the day. It’s drinking not burdened with snobbery. About the kind of alcoholic tastes you should like on the tongue.
But there is more to Ireland than drinking. Their bouts of comic witticism are never ending. The sensational ancient writer Oscar Wilde, the cynical comedian Dylan Moran and the sadistic humor from Jimmy Carr. Here are a few witty sayings from the island;

1. May you die in bed at 95, shot by a jealous spouse.

2. Where the tongue slips, it speaks the truth.

3. Here’s to women’s kisses, and to whiskey, amber clear. Not as sweet as a woman’s kiss, but a darn sight more sincere!

4. Here’s to me, and here’s to you. And here’s to love and laughter. I’ll be true as long as you. And not one moment after

5. Lose an hour in the morning and you’ll be looking for it all day.

6. Who keeps his tongue keeps his friends.

7. May your home always be too small to hold all your friends.

8. You’ve got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your father was.

9. It is often that a person’s mouth broke his nose.

10. Here’s to a long life and a merry one. A quick death and an easy one. A pretty girl and an honest one. A cold pint and another one!

That said, head out to the Jameson’s Party tonight the 16th March at Ngong Racecource. You’ll get a bottle of the hard stuff Jameson at the entrance. Drink that. After all, if it’s drowning you’re after, don’t torment yourself with shallow water. Cheers!

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