Category Archives: Men and Women

  • The Modern Woman’s Conundrum

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    Shamefacedly, I will admit that I am addicted to Facebook. I like it more than I assumed I would. Shame because the owner of this thing is a billionaire and I am a ‘hundredaire’. It’s a modern convenience that’s a meet and greet arena for folk that’s all mouths and trousers. All talk and no action. Nuances of inflated lives gather here like a bloated hippo. It’s ugly and I love it. As I scroll, there are a number of, ‘My life feels like getting dahlias each morning’, ‘I am happier than you’and ‘I only dine five-star and travel business class’ updates. These special people alternate between ‘#Selfie #Teamlightskin #VeraweavesLane’, ‘Checking into Windsor with bae’, ‘Off to Zanzibar with Jambojet’ (Jambojet does not fly this route by the way), Wise quotes, Bible quotes when forlorn and the ugliest of them all, ‘Robin Van Persie you hottie!’ (A moment of silence for pretend football fans). I cannot help myself, it’s too entertaining. The culprits here are? Women.

  • If I Was a Man

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    I’m in a quandary of sorts. If I had the choice of choosing my sex at creation, what would I be? Would I be a man? I’m ambivalent that the joy I would get for not experiencing monthly reds contrasted to paying for my own meals would be enough. Days of peeing while standing couldn’t dissipate the grief of changing my own tyres or checking the car’s ATF (automatic transmission fluid) and possibly changing it? But I speak with a sharp tongue possibly for the fact that I haven’t labored the birth of a 4kg child who rips me apart, literally joining side A to B. Not forgetting the child makes you take shits publicly (harrowing thought). I might as well choose man.

  • Read her lips.

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    I have heard seriously wrong assumptions that men have about women. I don’t blame them really. A man’s life in my eyes is pretty straightforward. His way of thinking is too. He is born, one hand in his pants, the other on a gadget of his preference. Could be a computer, a phone, or a ball (not intended). Then he grows older and taller. He might feel sad at one point, call a friend and drink whiskey in silence. When he is 40ish, pressure may build up. In a moment of horn madness, he might sell his property and take a 20 year old comfort lady who calls him ‘papi’, to Dubai. To feed sharks. A month later, he comes home broke and begs his wife to take him back. They start all over again. A woman can do all these things in one morning and still have the energy to go fire someone at work.